i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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