im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
