JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
