she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize