that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
