i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
