I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
