it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
