Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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