You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
