she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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