yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
