Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
