Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
