Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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