good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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