i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
it glows. i had to have it.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
