I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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