Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
You dont lie about slip and slides
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
