forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
