The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Sober January is a disaster.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
