hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
