We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize