farters have to be the big spoon...
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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