I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Two words: blizzard sex
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
