you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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