Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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