dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
