I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
