you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
