Well douche your snatch and let's go!
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
