Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize