so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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