eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
well most of my day revolves around power hour
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
