Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
