Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
My life is pants optional.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
