I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
