Where did you get a picture of my penis
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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