toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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