No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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