The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
