Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
No...this little piggys going to the bar
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
