I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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