If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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