when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
