the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I am available for nakedness
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
