I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
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