She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
