It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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