After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
