I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He better not be in your backpack
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
