So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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