Having a random hookup so left but love u
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
