Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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