I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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