her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
