just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
