so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
i think my cat just said my name.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
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