don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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