my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
