What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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