also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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