oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
