Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
