I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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